HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)
Who needs ‘pass the parcel’ and pink wafers when you suffer from alarming blackouts? Certainly not Virginia, especially as the self-elected 'top 10' at Crawford Academy are being butchered in grotesque ways, with the finger of suspicion pointing right at her.
Directed by J. Lee Thompson of Cape Fear (1962) fame, Happy Birthday To Me refuses to take itself too seriously, with a likeable cast and some inventive murders culminating in a thankfully bizarre final twenty minutes – resuscitating the flashbacks we were forced to endure. As meaningful as birthday cards without money inside.
The big reveal is a little over the top and the whole party does drag its heels a little bit, but if you fancy seeing someone strangled by a motorbike wheel, another murdered as they're lifting weights, and best of all, death by shish kebab, this little oddity will be right up your street. Think body bag rather than party bag.
MANIAC (1980)
Maniac was accused by critics of taking the slasher film and its accompanying gore effects to new, unpleasantly graphic heights. I’m sure special effects maestro Tom Savini (Dawn of the Dead) is really proud of that accolade. Frank Zito (Joe Spinell) – a man who was abused by his mother as a child – takes out his frustrations on innocent young women. He scalps them and uses their hair to make wigs for his mannequins. Everybody’s got a hobby, right?
Maniac was directed by William Lustig (he went on to direct the Maniac Cop series) and co-stars Caroline Munro and Gail Lawrence. Frank Zitto (The Godfather) makes for compulsive viewing as the deeply disturbed psycho of the piece, and it’s interesting to note that just before his death he received financing for a belated follow up to this underrated gem.
Tom Savini is the star of the show, utilising his special effects know-how to gloriously gruesome effect. He even makes an appearance in the film and quite naturally saves the best showcase of his talent for himself. You’ll be blown away by his relentless commitment to bloodshed and brutality.
Lustig builds suspense throughout, calling on Savini to take over when the time is right with his industrious effects showcase. Maniac is a creepy affair, helped along by a wonderfully twisted lead performance. Talking of twists, it’s that which sets Maniac apart from its contemporise. Perverse, contorted and drowning in a sea of gruesome imagery, Maniac is worthy of its title.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)
Twenty years ago the supervisors at the local mine were so eager to get to the annual Valentine dance they failed to check on the levels of methane gas. A massive explosion ripped through the mine and five workers were trapped underneath the debris. Harry Warden was the only survivor, the experience drove him insane and one year later he returned to brutally kill the two men responsible.
Now, in 1981, the fun-loving residents of this peaceful mining town are preparing themselves for the first Valentine dance to be held since that fateful night two decades ago. Memories of Warden's murder have long passed, and a group of fun-loving teens are looking forward to cutting loose. However, the night before the event, the town mayor receives a bloody heart in a candy box with a poetic warning.
The original My Bloody Valentine is a vastly superior experience in every way. The group of friends are likeable creations, as was often the case in eighties horror, and the plot moves faster than a runaway mine cart. My Bloody Valentine is a largely bloodless affair and lacking in nudity. The fact that it remains so highly enjoyable can be credited to a killer plot and several well-staged set pieces that really go for the jugular.
If you can track down the unedited version, do so, as it retains the blood and guts merely hinted at in the UK edition. Despite this tiny criticism, My Bloody Valentine remains a hugely inventive slice of 80s horror and it’s a shame that the promise of further instalments never came to light.
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)
A group of teens attend a Halloween party in a spooky funeral parlour, where a monstrous spirit takes possession of the host and suddenly the party becomes a living hell as the terrified teens – pursued by the murderous, demonic villain – try to get out of the house alive.
The spooky mansion takes centre stage and makes the perfect backdrop, while its Halloween theme allows the kids to go in fancy dress, allowing for a titillating spectacle. The make-up on the demons is decent enough and the cast is clearly having fun.
The 'lipstick' scene is astonishing, the film takes itself seriously enough to stop it from descending into farce and the set-pieces are handled superbly. There's something very innocent about Kevin Tenney's original and although the murders aren't as thrilling as those in the remake, it's more of a satisfying watch overall. Watching pretty kids die in all manner of brutal ways has never been so much fun.
HELL NIGHT (1981)
If they manage to stay just one night in a supposedly haunted house, four pledges will be allowed to join the Alpha Sigma Rho fraternity and its sister sorority. Outside, boozed-up, sex-crazed teens try to scare the foursome to death. Inside, a vengeful monster goes one step further...
If you take Hell Night too seriously, you’ll probably switch off as soon as the monster – stolen from many Hammer films – drags its awkward frame across the screen for the first time. This would be a shame because the film is so much fun, complemented by genuine belly laughs and lots of stalk and slash mayhem, even if blood and nudity are surprisingly lacking.
With inventive set-pieces, atmospheric visuals and a winning location, Hell Night revels in a cast worth rooting for. Linda Blair, after a shaky introduction, is oddly captivating as Marti, and the other protagonists are also endearing, apart from the Harry Potter look-a-like (no magic and no tricks up his sleeves).
Hokey, camp and frightfully good fun from beginning to end, Hell Night may not be as brutal or as dark as Halloween but get a few friends around and allow yourself to indulge in a horror movie that doesn't need a mask to hide its sinister smile.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984)
Saving the slasher movie from certain death (until the final scene, of course), Wes Craven’s masterpiece would quite easily make the top ten slashers of all time, if only because it revitalised the genre and gave us one of the greatest bogeymen to grace our screens.
Freddy (Robert Englund) would go on to become a legend, helped by a franchise that got progressively worse until Craven’s own New Nightmare turned the whole shebang on its head.
A Nightmare On Elm Street introduced us to Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) – her parents part of a lynch mob that hunted down child murderer Freddy and killed him. Or so they thought. In the dreams of his victims, Freddy returned to stalk the children of those that burnt him alive.
A delicious idea, an iconic red-and-green jumper, knives as fingers and with some of the most surreal chills seen in a very long time, A Nightmare On Elm Street truly delivers. Forget the cartoonish entity he would later become, in the original outing, Freddy was genuinely frightening and met his match in Nancy, one of the greatest ‘final girls’ in slasher cinema.
APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1984)
Another mansion, another sleepover. Horror fans will love or loathe April Fools Day, in which a group of college students stay at a friend's remote island hideaway and soon start falling victim to an unseen murderer over the April Fool's day weekend. The reason why this is a bit of a marmite movie won’t become evident until this seemingly typical 80s slasher draws to a close and culminates in a twist ending that has made the movie more memorable than it really should be.
Directed by Fred Walton (When A Stranger Calls), April Fools Day was yet another slasher that didn’t take itself too seriously, revolving around an elaborate hoax but starring a fresh-faced cast all eager to please. Clichés are played with, reputations are ruined forever, but it was a hit at the box office and you must give it credit for attempting something a little bit different.
THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW (1983)
She had a good innings that Mrs Slater, cut short when Katey and six sorority sisters pull a prank on their strict house mother. They pretend to shoot her. You can probably guess the rest. With the prank going slightly awry, the girls all agree to hide Slater's body in their dirty swimming pool until a graduation party being held in the house is finished.
We never make it to the last dance. Instead, a sea pig struggles to stay afloat, Slater struggles to speak in synch, the prettiest girl gets killed rather quickly, all the men prove to be complete tools and we realise that pushing a trash can into a marked police vehicle is only asking for trouble. And slightly stupid.
Which is all rather entertaining, truth be told, so The House On Sorority Row is yet another decent horror from the early eighties, boasting likeable characters, moments of inspiration and half-decent chills. The lead is no Nancy Thompson, but she's still worth rooting for. And although the killer may not have the fear factor of Freddy, one scene will prove he's no joker in the pack.
DEMONS (1985)
An Italian horror film directed by Lamberto Bava and produced by Dario Argento, Demons takes place in an old mysterious cinema where all the patrons have been invited by a masked man distributing movie tickets. The surprise attraction – a horror movie no less – centres around demonic possession and graphic murder, but as the audience is about to discover, foreshadows the events that will terrorise the freeloaders who should have gone bowling instead.
Forget the laughable performances and indulge in some quite brilliant body horror that will make this tough going for some viewers. Demons packs in the thrills, an interesting premise (for its time) and imbues the proceedings with some gloriously disgusting havoc. A camp but comically cruel night in.
CHILD'S PLAY (1988)
Starting life as a hard-core slasher movie, Child’s Play has dipped his toes in comedy-horror over the past few years with mixed success. Bride of Chucky was an absolute blast from start to finish but Seed of Chucky somehow lost its way.
The original movie – directed by Fright Night’s Tom Holland – is still the best in the saga. After 6-year-old Andy Barclay’s babysitter falls from a window to her death, nobody believes him when he says it was Chucky, the Good Guy doll his mother bought him for his birthday.
A series of gruesome murders lead a detective (Chris Sarandon) back to the same toy time and time again. It seems the deranged doll is planning to transfer his evil spirit into a living human being, and plucky Chucky has his eye on Andy.
It’s easy to forget just how chilling the original Child’s Play was. Special effects are used sparingly throughout and still hold up to this day, performances are strong and the script plays far smarter than it has any right to. It’s a repulsive ride for the most part, both energetic and explosive – a superior slasher movie that gave birth to cinema’s most malevolent doll.
All together now, “Hi, I’m Chucky. Wanna play?”
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